H-Plan Frustration

I work for a company that does its payroll and benefits through Administaff. Actually, this is the second company I've worked for that did that. The other one was long ago and is best forgotten.

Anyway, after the great implosion at my employer, Administaff has been scrambling to ensure that they will continue to be paid to do the payroll and benefits for us, and so they're doing these meetings every other week where they extoll the virtues of Administaff, and one of the things they are proudest of was what they call "The Marketplace".

"The Marketplace" is, simply put, a place where Administaff client companies sell each other things at a discount, and one of the organizations that offers a discount is Toyota. In Toyota's case, they have what they call the "H Plan".

Last Friday, they had training that touched on "The Marketplace" and I had been thinking ahead to the time when my daughter or stepdaughter will be driving and they're going to need a car to wreck. I'm currently driving a 1998 Mazda 626 with a hundred and mumblety-thousand miles on it and I was thinking that it would be a fine idea to get a new car for me to drive while the new driver wrecks a car that doesn't cost so much. I figure if I do that, then I can (maybe? please?) justify getting a car that only I can drive. That is, a car with a clutch, just like I had when I was learning to drive back in the stone age of the early 1980's.

You should know that I'm not someone who makes a decision like this at the last minute. I considered the question of the last vehicle I wanted to buy (NOT the 626!) more than a year before circumstances forced me to purchase it and a year and a half before I expected to make the purchase. I think that a multiple thousand dollar purchase is worth some study and reflection. So, I'm not likely make rapid decisions about major purchases mere moments before walking out to actually buy whatever it is, and when making plans for anything there is nothing more necessary than information.

So, I logged on to the Administaff employee Web site, went into "The Marketplace" and, after fiddling around and finally finding the link to Toyota for the special offer, I went to the link and selected a car. I picked a new Matrix because I kind of liked the looks of the Matrix some years ago and, well, what the heck? A fellow can dream, can't he? So, I made a selection on Toyota's Web site with the make, model, engine, transmission, color, and so forth, and I clicked on the "Submit" button.

The problem was, instead of being told how immediately much the car cost, I was presented with a Web form in which I was prompted to enter contact information. Now, being the Web-savvy individual that I am, I knew exactly what this meant: I was going to have to interact with a salesman. Crap.

Now, I don't have any specific objections to salesmen. Thomas J. Watson Sr. once said that the salesman is the hero of the American dream because nothing gets done until something gets sold, and I really believe that. However, in this case I was reluctant to click on the second "Submit" button because, well, because I was going to wind up having to talk to someone that I couldn't help but disappoint because I wasn't intending to buy now. I don't like disappointing people.

Nevertheless, I persevered. I clicked on the form and waited. I immediately received two emails. One was an automatic "I got your email, and I'm going to read it real soon" message and the other said, in part.

Before I can send you a quote I need to know:

Automatic or manual transmission?
Power windows and locks?
1.8 or 2.4 engine?
Lighter or darker colors?
Any other features?
Your H Plan price is an employment benefit just like a 401K or medical plan and it is available only through me.

Okay, I can understand the requirement for more information. Well, no, I can't. I mean, it must have taken the fellow all of 30 seconds to dash off the email and it's going to take me an hour of digging just to find out the options that are available. If he's getting paid to help me, shouldn't he, well, you know, HELP? And what is the emphasis on the "available only through me" bit. It was in the email three times, almost like he was trying to implant the idea in my head that I was getting a special deal, which I thought I was already.

So, I did the hour or so of digging around on Toyota's site to find the base equipment of the various models and all the available options and I sent them to the fellow, and I started the email with this paragraph:

I don't think I'm ready to buy just yet. I'm just looking around and seeing what's up.

I was hoping to forestall any pressure to come in and buy right now because I'm just making plans, not trying to take on another car note. Unfortunately, that turned out to be the wrong thing to say because the response I got was this:

Please get back to me when you're ready to buy. There's no sense quoting prices now, because they might change -- and rebates could change, too -- by the time you're ready.

Well, no SHIT, Sherlock! Now, not only am I out the hours of my time figuring out on my own all the crap that an actual salesman would be helping me with if I came to the dealer, and not only did I come away after doing 90+% of the work without getting the actual information I set out to get, but I also got to get treated like an especially slow three year old. Who would have thought that the actual price might possibly change between when I make the plan and when I execute it. Well I would! Sheesh!

So, my response was this:

No thank you. I'm sorry to have wasted your time.

The more I thought about this, the madder I got. Why do I have to talk to a human to find out how much the damned car cost? Supposedly, "H Plan" is a formulaic deal where he just puts the numbers in and out pops the price! Couldn't this fellow be replaced by a simple shell script? Why isn't this fully automated?

I mean, why even engage a human until there is some point subject to negotiation or until there are papers that someone has to make sure are signed? What is the point? While I'm thinking about it, why should this fellow get any commission from the sale? All he did was spend less than a minute asking me questions and treating me like a village idiot while I did all the work! The only answer I could come up with that makes any sense is that "H Plan" isn't really a discount at all and they need to engage a salesman so that he can apply high-pressure sales tactics to induce me into buying something I don't want at a highly inflated price. If "H Plan" was even a halfway decent discount, then they would be falling all over themselves to make sure I knew what the price was so that I could go out and compare it to other dealers' quotes and find out for myself how good a deal it was.

It seems to me that the Internet changes things. It used to be that you needed a salesman to guide a customer through the sales process. He answered questions like what options were available and what effect the various selections had on the sales price and made recommendations when the purchaser wasn't clear in his own mind about what his wants and needs are. But I'm the one doing all that in this case. Is it really to my advantage to have someone working on the deal whose main interest is in making sure I get ripped off for as much money as possible?

What matters on the Internet is information, and car dealers aren't comfortable with that. No longer can they rely on "I need to ask my manager about that" because I can get a dozen price quotes in a day or so and nobody who wants to stay in business is going to worry too awful much about whether or not I'm ready to buy right now. Heck, I can even hire someone to go out and find me a good deal on exactly the car, make, model, options, color, etc. that I'm looking for. It's a game changer, and if a dealer has even half the brains God gave a gnat, they automate the whole thing to avoid wasting a human's valuable time. Put all the available options and such on a Web site and when the user clicks on "quote", out pops a quote. If I was trying to sell anything on the Internet, that's how I would do it because when I BUY anything on the Internet, that's how I want it done.

It's disappointing to me that I didn't get the information I want, but I did learn something valuable. I learned that I have no desire at all to ever buy a vehicle from that dealer under any circumstances. If they're going to treat me like crap, there's no point in even attempting to do business with them.